My head is swarming with details of travelling, finances, and everything else I could easily find in the box labeled, "Details to note before moving from one country to another." There has been an intense battle between the over-analytical mind of my flesh versus the Spirit, and it is my desire to relinquish my days to the peace which only comes from the control of the Holy Spirit over it all.
I love my Papa as He so faithfully confirms on a regular basis that where I am going is where He has told me to go. This confirmation comes in different forms, and the story is as follows:
My friend and I were hiking to the top of Calloway Peak on Grandfather Mountain in Boone this past weekend. Though I enjoyed the climb, I much moreso enjoyed the splendor revealed at the top as I witnessed the Blue Ridge Parkway so strategically nestled into the fierce green view painted around us. Soon enough, we found ourselves engaged in a quick get-to-know you conversation with one of the three people on top. This particular man had graduated from App State a few years ago and was back to visit. I noted his surprise as I told him I was soon headed to Bolivia. He responded: "Really? I just got back from living in La Paz and teaching English there for five years." Maybe this was a random encounter with a former Bolivian on top of a mountain, but I could feel God's pleasure as he gave me yet another blessing....another confirmation which will help sustain my faith through these coming days.
This is yet another image of who God is, our Abba who is thrilled in giving good gifts to His children. I am reminded of this past Christmas when I gave homemade gifts to my family. After weeks of preparation, it was all I could do to contain my excitement as I knew what was under the tree, and I just couldn't wait for their responses. The time and thought I had put into giving the gifts had amplified the joy it was to give them. I believe this is how it is with God...as He waits with His prepared gifts...waiting for the perfect time to give me His gift....and of course, finding such pleasure when my face lights up.
I look back over this year...and I remember times when I was disappointed or had unmet expectations and criticized God for them. But it is during these days, when God makes himself so clear, that I am learning this: Sometimes God doesn't give us that which we want because He understands the very essence of what we need...and He waits with pleasure and joy for the perfect time to give it.
Monday, June 20, 2011
Monday, June 13, 2011
Sojourneying
When I start to think about packing my whole life in two or three suitcases, shopping becomes a whole different scenario. First of all, I might walk into a cute boutique and see a very cute dress yet very clearly labeled with an eighty dollar price tag, and I begin to reconsider how stuffing it in the bottom of my suitcase could justify the impulsive purchase. Better yet, the thought of realizing that the main "nice" clothes I will need are really only for dressing as a "teacher" destroys any other justifications I may come up with.
Then I head to the thrift store, motivated by the fact that here, on half-off mondays, price is no longer a key worry. Yet, another factor steps in to cause even more problems: space. (You have to realize....during college there are not many greater thrills than finding the most random, neon-colored article of clothing which is only vital to completing my wardrobe...or even a fun, flowy skirt which drags on the floor, resembles a floridian curtain, and most definitely was made and sold in the 80's. Since I wasn't born in the 80's, there is no shame in purchasing the $1.61 priced skirt.) Unfortunately, every item must be considered and reconsidered as I determine whether or not it makes the "worth-it for only two suitcases" cut.
Though some beg to differ, the thought of cramming all I own into such small and limited space livens my spirit. Over the past few years, my life has become a continuous cycle of arrival and departure times, as I have not really been in the same place for more than a few months at a time. But I know God has wired me for this...to enjoy the relationships built and the growth made during each season, but to also appreciate the new and uncertainty and ministry which every new city, country, and continent brings. I love adventure, seeing the world, and truly knowing the new places through which I pass.
So, I am a sojourner...always passing through, but never yet there. But I'm learning why this is so true for me. It is during these months of waiting for the adventure ahead that God speaks and tells me, "Beloved, this world is not your home." The dreams, the desires, and the longings I have today are so limited as they will only be extremely surpassed when I meet my King. I'm always ready to go on another great adventure, but I get even more excited to think of what it will be like to one day arrive...at home... and then, the truest of adventures will only have just begun.
So as a good friend once said, "risk everything for the true adventure."
Then I head to the thrift store, motivated by the fact that here, on half-off mondays, price is no longer a key worry. Yet, another factor steps in to cause even more problems: space. (You have to realize....during college there are not many greater thrills than finding the most random, neon-colored article of clothing which is only vital to completing my wardrobe...or even a fun, flowy skirt which drags on the floor, resembles a floridian curtain, and most definitely was made and sold in the 80's. Since I wasn't born in the 80's, there is no shame in purchasing the $1.61 priced skirt.) Unfortunately, every item must be considered and reconsidered as I determine whether or not it makes the "worth-it for only two suitcases" cut.
Though some beg to differ, the thought of cramming all I own into such small and limited space livens my spirit. Over the past few years, my life has become a continuous cycle of arrival and departure times, as I have not really been in the same place for more than a few months at a time. But I know God has wired me for this...to enjoy the relationships built and the growth made during each season, but to also appreciate the new and uncertainty and ministry which every new city, country, and continent brings. I love adventure, seeing the world, and truly knowing the new places through which I pass.
So, I am a sojourner...always passing through, but never yet there. But I'm learning why this is so true for me. It is during these months of waiting for the adventure ahead that God speaks and tells me, "Beloved, this world is not your home." The dreams, the desires, and the longings I have today are so limited as they will only be extremely surpassed when I meet my King. I'm always ready to go on another great adventure, but I get even more excited to think of what it will be like to one day arrive...at home... and then, the truest of adventures will only have just begun.
So as a good friend once said, "risk everything for the true adventure."
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Praise Befitting
I have recently started reading the book Praise Habit: Finding God in Sunsets and Sushi by David Crowder. Of course, as you just spent a split second personally interpreting what you think the book is about, I too did the same. Praise? As a habit? Wouldn't I get bored of it like I would everything else. For example, I run around the same mile loop in my neighborhood at least every other day. I hate it. Yet I still do it. Also, we find ourselves in habits such as always eating three cookies instead of one...a habit which we remind ourselves at midnight is never good for us. We may have the habit of attending church or listening to the same music artist. But...praise? To the living God? Does it go in this category?
When considering a nun, her black and white outfit is called a "habit". Ahh, did your perspective change a bit? So now, a habit is clothing. It is something the nun wears daily. It is fashion yet antifashion. Crowder says, "The habit is what she wears. It is what covers her. It is what identifies her. Our condition is the same. For the follower of Jesus, our habit is the Christ. He is what covers us. He is what identifies us. We wear Him into every moment, and when we live with this awareness, we PRAISE CHRIST."
To clarify a statement made in a previous blog, my dad has been going through pain over the past ten years, but it has limited his ability to function on a daily basis specifically over the past six months. My family is weary and sometimes we feel like we don't really know what to pray any more, as doctors cannot seem to diagnose anything...other than knowing it has something to do with the nervous system.
Yet, I do know this. My God is faithful. It is befitting to praise Him. Something truly changes when we begin to give praise to our Maker, no matter what our circumstances are. Satan flees, He just can't stand it. He relishes in the idea of shutting us up. Yet, for those moments, I lose sight of my doubts and frustrations. I realize that my God has not forgotten about my family. And His promises to do what glorifies Him are what we can stand firm upon.
"You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore." Psalm 16:11
When considering a nun, her black and white outfit is called a "habit". Ahh, did your perspective change a bit? So now, a habit is clothing. It is something the nun wears daily. It is fashion yet antifashion. Crowder says, "The habit is what she wears. It is what covers her. It is what identifies her. Our condition is the same. For the follower of Jesus, our habit is the Christ. He is what covers us. He is what identifies us. We wear Him into every moment, and when we live with this awareness, we PRAISE CHRIST."
To clarify a statement made in a previous blog, my dad has been going through pain over the past ten years, but it has limited his ability to function on a daily basis specifically over the past six months. My family is weary and sometimes we feel like we don't really know what to pray any more, as doctors cannot seem to diagnose anything...other than knowing it has something to do with the nervous system.
Yet, I do know this. My God is faithful. It is befitting to praise Him. Something truly changes when we begin to give praise to our Maker, no matter what our circumstances are. Satan flees, He just can't stand it. He relishes in the idea of shutting us up. Yet, for those moments, I lose sight of my doubts and frustrations. I realize that my God has not forgotten about my family. And His promises to do what glorifies Him are what we can stand firm upon.
"You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore." Psalm 16:11
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